It’s Never Too Late to Heal
Learn to Heal At Your Own Pace
Every year I hear the same intensely painful phrase over and over again in the days leading up to this terrible. Long term client or new prospect, family member or friend, it doesn’t matter what our background, our level of experience in life or even with energy work, “I couldn’t speak about it until now,” is a natural, 
common and even healthy experience of trauma. It’s a phrase I hear about 9/11 every single year since. While it’s terribly painful to hear and to experience…it’s actually a very good thing. Why? Because…
We are not ready to heal…until we are actually ready to heal.
This might seem like an excuse to some. People who either haven’t had the level of trauma we’ve endured, or often worse, those who have healed their trauma are often confused as to why it might take another person longer to heal. Doesn’t everyone want t heal? Honestly, no. Not in the way you think they should, nor in the timing you think best.
No matter our skill or our desire, no matter how much our spouse wants us to or we want it ourselves, no matter how much society says we should have been long done with our pain…OUR system is always working both for and with us. We must learn to balance between what we want and what our system is ready to handle.
We must learn to not only trust our system, but to work with it for our greatest wellbeing.
Some would suggest that healing feels good so wouldn’t everyone want to heal? The truth is, no, often the actual process of healing not only doesn’t feel good it can be quite difficult. Thankfully with tools such as EFT Tapping, we can mitigate these negative effects. But like childhood growing pains, there is often an ache to healing. It’s the result of healing, being healed, that is worth it. Being healed feels amazing! And yet…
The reality is often we don’t heal because to heal seems to mean we would simply move on, move past, let go and often without any apology or resolution to our painful trauma. And so we inadvertently hang on to the only thing we have left, our pain. Unaware that by not letting go or healing it is we who continue to hurt ourselves. Many don’t understand that it is in healing we actually come back to a stronger place of love and connection.
In healing ourselves we often find we don’t need an apology. We don’t need to go thru effort to forgive. It is all done and we need no outside confirmation or validation. Oh, don’t get me wrong, we still get to have our opinions of those who hurt us and their actions, or inactions, but our opinions as well as our past, painful experiences, no longer hurt us in the present.
There are others who are either not yet ready, willing or even able to see that they have been hurt. Often in the case of 9/11 and other communal tragedies, we may not be able or willing to even look at our pain because our pain is not as severe as others’. We may not have lost a loved-one that day, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have pain! Maybe we have the pain of spending endless hours unable to connect with our loved one. Maybe we felt completely unsafe as a result of what we watched, in person or on the television. Maybe we felt the unimaginably thunderous shaking of the ground as we walked to work or felt the suffocating blanket of ash cover us as we tried to escape. The list of ways those who did not lose a loved-one that day were traumatized is long and varied. And those pains are not nothing. They are trauma and need our respect as well as our conscious determination to heal.
But can we really heal this late in the game, this long after our experience of trauma? Absolutely yes we can! And not only can we, we must!
The saying in physical fitness is we are what we eat, but truthfully that’s only part of the story. Western medicine is only now beginning to understand what sages have known for over a thousand years. In reality, we are energetic beings living a physical experience and ALL of our energy affects our wellbeing on every level. That unhealed trauma from high school? That single memory could activate a genetic issue causing disease later in life. That painful holiday episode with your family? Allowed to remain in your heart and mind could break your physical heart over time. That unhealed trauma from your first job? Left unhealed, it could cause you to never succeed in either your professional life or personal…or both.
The great news about healing is that no matter how long ago we experienced pain or trauma, or both, we can begin healing when we are ready. How do we know we’re ready? We may find ourselves wishing to be done with our burden. Or, we might find ourselves ready to speak about it. Maybe we are curious to learn what healing from our pain might be like. Or maybe we just don’t want to be alone with our pain anymore.
But there’s even more good news! We can begin today to help our systems open to healing with simple, gentle yet powerful tools such as EFT Tapping when we acknowledge our lack of readiness and use that same tool to install the knowledge that it’s safe to begin healing now or soon. We can even go so far as to tell ourselves we are getting ready to be ready!
And above all, begin learning about and then how to use do-it-yourself healing tools such as EFT Tapping and more. Many people not only use tools like it and more on their own, but they bring these tools into traditional therapy, into their workplace and into their relationships with family and friends, as well as into their marriages. To learn more about EFT Tapping and the other modalities I offer, look around my site and read both about the techniques themselves and how they have helped myself and my clients heal from all kinds of issues, pain and trauma.
Wherever you find yourself today and every day, be kind to yourself especially as well as be kind to others for we’re all burdened by pains past and present. But as you have just learned, the truth is we are all actually on our own healing journey taking it one step at a time. This article and my site offers you the chance to take your healing to new levels whether in giant leaps or in effective, profound and yet gentle small steps. And now you know whatever way your system allows is the very best way for you.
Years after 9/11 I couldn’t look at downtown Manhattan from across the water without shaking and shutting down, as if it was happening all over again. I couldn’t bring myself to go back to my job or my work in finance. Not only was my company gone along with our offices but the drive to succeed that I had cherished and nourished throughout my career was simply destroyed. I found a far less demanding job near my home in New Jersey and like a drone I went in and came home without much emotion every day for years. Then one day, about ten years later, without thinking of what it would entail, I signed up for a charity dinner cruise with my dear friend, Cathleen. As the ship made it’s way south on the Hudson, my throat began to close and my heart race: I was about to be closer to the site than I’d been in nearly ten years. Cathleen and I found a quiet spot away from the crowd and she began to have me hold certain points on my face and chest while taking long, slow, deep breaths and listening to her calming voice. Expertly she guided me through the pain I knew and revealed some I hadn’t even thought of and I felt myself relax more and more. When we got just past Hoboken, I asked see Manhattan. We walked over to the railing, tapping and breathing. I don’t know when I stopped tapping or needing to breathe deeply, but I realized I wasn’t feeling anything scary or urgent. I felt sadness but also a profound appreciation for the beauty that Manhattan still offered. The site was a gaping wound but I wasn’t filled with horror or the need to run away. The next day Cathleen explained that had I pushed myself in the previous years I might have had a rough time. My consciousness knew what it was doing. And I agree! That cruise was the perfect place for me to heal, or really begin healing. But also the perfect time. I would not have been able to feel relief if I’d tried in previous years. And there’s no way I could have let go of that much fear without EFT and Cathleen’s expert guidance.”
Eileen K. , Finance
