What an annoyance the simplest of decisions can sometimes be, especially for typically productive and successful people. We all come up against these issues from time to time. Our lives running, mostly on overdrive, but at least running along. And then we’re hit with the need to make a decision that we’re not used to making, and without our normally relied-upon resources.
Such was the case with a friend of mine, Jason, a really terrific guy who got stuck one evening making what should have been a snap decision.
Jason is a very successful marketing executive in New York City. He is used to making really big decisions quickly and definitively. His job simply depends on not only his natural creative abilities, but his ability to gather research and formulate accurate deductions and conclusions. Waffling back and forth between options is just not something he’s prone to doing.
But take us out of our routine and our comfort zone and even the most successful of us can become confused and anxiety-ridden.
One Saturday evening, Jason stopped by and asked if I could help him out with a decision he’d been frustrated over and though he was really stuck he had to make the decision fast. You see Jason had to decide exactly what to wear to a posh cocktail party!
This was a decision he’d normally make easily and then run by his girlfriend for confirmation. But tonight he was stumped. You see tonight was different; his girlfriend was away and he did not have his trusted advisor to confirm his excellent choice.
In addition to being a master decision-maker, Jason is also a very snappy dresser. His clothes are always perfectly put together, and his choices are very chic. He’s in a very competitive and highly visual business, so his excellent appearance is just another necessary factor in his success. For a man like this to be confused over which jacket to wear to a function like the many functions he regularly attends was a big red flag that a deeper issue was at hand.
At first he asked me to choose for him between two options, but I could see that answering his question of which jacket went with which slacks would not even begin to quell his angst. Seeing that there was a deeper cause of his anxiety, I asked if he would like to have a little work on his energy to help him make the best decision and the most of this night. He gratefully agreed with relief washing over his face.
The session was short, lasting no longer than 15 minutes.
We began working on issues like:
Even though I’m not sure which jacket would look best, I deeply and completely accept myself.
Even though my girlfriend usually helps me make these decisions, I trust that I can make the right decision on my own, as I deeply and completely accept myself.
His anxiety began to drop just a little, and I knew that I could now lead him into the real issue that was the source of his anxiety, and so we began:
Even though I miss my girlfriend and don’t want to go to this snooty party alone, I deeply and completely forgive myself and her for not being here.
Even though I normally feel confident, for some reason tonight I’m not fully confident walking into a room full of posh people I don’t know and I’m feeling uneasy, but I deeply and completely accept and forgive myself anyway and I choose to be pleasantly surprised by how enjoyable tonight really is.
Even though I think I’ll have a lousy time, won’t connect with anyone, my jacket decision will not matter because I’ll end up not having a good time, I still love, deeply and completely accept and forgive myself as I choose to trust myself and know that I’m a good conversationalist, fun to be around, and I’m willing to be pleasantly surprised by how I thoroughly enjoy myself.
His demeanor returned quickly to his usual pleasant, enthusiastic self. He said that he was aware he wasn’t so comfortable going out on his own since he’d been dating his girlfriend for years now and they’d not spent that much time apart. But he wasn’t aware that it was bothering him to the degree it obviously was.
And he realized that it wasn’t a true fear or discomfort, more along the lines of having gotten contented with always having her there by his side. He noted how easily accepting a routine as “the way things are” had taken away his power of confidence and making decisions. Jason left having made his own decision about which jacket to wear.
He was actually looking forward to the party with eager anticipation that he would indeed meet some very interesting people and enjoy himself as well.
Several days later, he reported that not only was the evening a success, but “amazingly, for some reason” people seemed drawn to him, commenting on his attire and he also met some uniquely interesting and wonderful people.
It’s a real comfort to know that whenever we find ourselves outside our comfort zone we can easily clear our energies and support our peaceful enjoyment of these new experiences. What’s more, the more clear our energies become the more people are simply drawn to us. Our clear energy feels as good to them as it does to us, which makes all our enjoyment even greater.
This article is featured on EFT Universe which features this lovely introduction:
“Sometimes even the most confident people can run up against blocks when it comes time to make a decision. In this story, Cathleen Campbell shows how EFT can be effectively used when root conflicts are not as simple as they may appear to be.”
This article is also featured on Gary Craig’s original EFT website.